I realized in that moment that there was nothing I could do to influence the outcome. I was entirely powerless.

And in that moment of recognition something wonderful happened. I became entirely calm, entirely still. I knew there was nothing I could do, so I was free from any pressure to do anything. All I had to do was watch and wait.

Time slowed. My perceptions became sharp and vivid. I was curious but not concerned about what was happening, unworried about what the next moment would bring. My mind was clear and open.

Afterward, I thought Why isn’t my experience always like this? What exactly made me feel so free? Is it possible to feel this free all the time? And I set out to find the answer.

You may never have had such a dramatic experience, but I’m willing to bet you’ve had a taste of what I’m talking about.

Have you ever been “in the zone” when playing sports or video games? That same sense of clarity and flow is what I felt.

Have you ever gotten lost in the beauty and wonder of a sunset, a mountain scene, a seascape? That same sense of freedom from care is what I felt.

Have you ever gotten so involved in an intricate bit of craft work or art work that you lost track of everything else, “lost yourself in your work”? That same sense of focused presence is what I felt.

Have you ever been so carried away watching a movie, listening to music, or reading a book, that you feel afterward like you’ve been taken away from yourself on a journey? That’s also what I’m talking about.

All these states of mind are reminders that we are naturally free, that tension and worry are artificial discomforts we impose on ourselves because we’ve never been properly taught how to relax, how to go with the flow, how to be focused without being uptight.

What have I discovered? Those are skills we can learn. That’s why I wrote The Relaxation Solution, so you can discover them too.

Adapted from The Relaxation Solution, available in paperback, hardcover, and ebook on Amazon and elsewhere. See purchasing links here. For announcements and special offers, sign up for the newsletter.

The post Have You Ever Been “In the Zone”? first appeared on Stephen Diamond.

Another app that I recommend for meditation is Insight Timer. It includes a very flexible session timer that you can configure to sound various gongs and bells at intervals. It also includes some guided meditations by me, which have gotten user ratings of 4.6 out of 5. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

As for coloring books, I plan to release several as part of the Relaxation Solution series. Subscribe to my newsletter and you’ll get early-bird announcements of upcoming books, plus a free ebook right now.

The post Five Stress Reduction Tips first appeared on Stephen Diamond.

Dr Burke posits three possible causes:

1. Denying that we’re feeling stressed
2. Worrying about what others will think
3. Indecision

I think (2) is closest to the truth for most folks. But it’s not exactly that. It’s more about worrying what we’ll think of ourselves. Modern “always on” culture brainwashes us into believing that we always have to be doing something useful. Downtime is equated with laziness.

We’ve internalized this message, and it’s literally making us ill. I go into this in The Relaxation Solution, due to be published May 23. Concise version: We’ve learned to make ourselves feel tense and anxious. We can unlearn it.

Look for The Relaxation Solution, to be published at Amazon and elsewhere on May 23, 2022. For announcements and special offers, sign up for the newsletter.

The post Stresslaxation – What Is It? first appeared on Stephen Diamond.

“When you’re feeling shitty—whether it’s from a bad day, a crummy immune system, or just enduring the slow crawl of human existence—it’s time to do something special to take your mind off things. Carve out some time to treat yourself like royalty. Feel like sitting in a bubble bath and speaking to no one? Great! Want to go for a hike and see some happy little trees? Get at it! Reserve three days over the next three months, jot down what you’ll do, and make that shit happen.”

“Mindfulness can occur any time we focus our attention and are largely undistracted. What can mindfulness be for you? It can be a deep breath before going into an important work event, the ability to savor a special moment with loved one, the tools to be fully present despite the myriad challenges and stressors you face, the rituals to wind down at night, or even the act of spending 15 minutes with a coloring book.”

“Our verbal stream plays an indispensable role in the creation of our selves. The brain constructs meaningful narrative through autobiographical reasoning. In other words, we use our minds to write the story of our lives, with us as the main character.”

“To hack our brains and break the anxiety cycle, we must become aware of two things: that we are getting anxious and/or panicking and what results form anxiety/panicking. This helps us see if our behavior is actually helping us survive or in fact is moving us in the opposite direction.”

“The Relaxation Solution is a new way of seeing, a new perspective on how we respond to stress. It’s a recognition that we’ve learned to respond to stress by creating tension in our bodies, in our minds, and in our emotions. We do it to ourselves without knowing it. We actually make efforts that create tension, and we often aren’t aware that we’re doing it. Once we become aware, we can stop. It’s as simple as that. But as long as we remain unaware of what we’re doing to ourselves, we’ll never find true relaxation.”

“Once we decouple ourself from the frustrations, regrets, and painful memories that burden us, we experience emotional freedom. It manifests in our behaviors, decisions, and level of self-awareness. It shows in our relationship with loved ones, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. It reveals itself in the quality of our work and the satisfaction we feel from having completed the work.”

“The opposite of harsh self-criticism and toxic perfectionism is self-compassion. The last twenty years have seen an explosion of research that shows us how much better people do when they engage in less self-criticism and more self-compassion.”

“You can view the process of creating and reaching your goals as a place for happiness and contentment. Rather than holding back happiness while you await an outcome, enjoy every step along the path.”

“Life Is Really Very Simple. What We Give Out, We Get Back What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. I believe that everyone, myself included, is responsible for everything in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and our feelings. The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences.”

“Meditation is a lifestyle skill that brings not only peacefulness to the person practicing the skill, but also provides lifelong health benefits that add longevity and quality of life. It is a simple skill that can be practiced by anyone of any age, race, religion, political view point, or regional location with no special requirements or equipment needed.”

“Self-care is about making yourself a priority, whatever your life circumstances. Self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to a life that has grown imbalanced from too many commitments or responsibilities.”

“Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose.”

“One mindset shift is to see rest and relaxation as important and worthy of your focus, and not just something you tack onto the end of a day once more important things are done.”

Look for The Relaxation Solution, to be published at Amazon and elsewhere on May 23, 2022. For announcements and special offers, sign up for the newsletter.

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The post Best Stress Relief Books first appeared on Stephen Diamond.